Friday, February 7, 2025

I Do Not Regret What I Have Written, Nor Do I Wish to Hide It Away


It took me 30+ years to realize what I'll tell you in 10 minutes...
Maggie McCormack | 30 Jan. 2025
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piidErez4NA


Madame!

Getting fame, money and a wife might not instantly make me happy, but would certainly remove some of the obstacles to my happiness I now have from harrassers.

It would also afford me to do some good for others, since what I write is edification especially on the intellectual side.

I don't do tables on how carbon 14 levels rose and how carbon dates fit in the Biblical chronology for fame solely. I do it because pretending carbon dates refute the Biblical chronology damns souls. Not all souls who believe it, there is a possibility in ill instructed laymen to be inconsistent and not realise what some tenet actually implies, but it is certainly damning some souls via open apostasy or hollowing out of a facade of Christian faith.

Telling me I shouldn't try to be famous might have been great advice for me when I was 20. I might even have been able to seek obscurity if I had back then gone into a monastery (not totally likely, but theoretically possible). It's no longer great advice when EVERY step I take to get known to get a publishing house going to get an income, is met by HUGE efforts of some network to keep me obscure and in the background. There is a difference between advice and persistent obstruction, you see.

ESPECIALLY when that obstruction can take forms like contaminating me with lice in late 2023 (possibly) and then delaying and delaying all efforts I do to get rid of them (certainly on some occasions, like 23rd of May or like 16th of January), as well as taking opportunity of my lice to over-feeding me to the point where an abcess starts hurting (i e gets a bacterial infection, not just the old cavity) and then the fever and my efforts to combat that with alcohol and blue cheese (disinfection and penicilline) are taken advantage of to stamp me as a drunkard to give some crook an occasion to pretend to act on my behalf as a doctor and to abuse that to stop me from getting the success I have worked for.

This is not just a message for you, but also for whoever has been praying for me to get this message.

2:40 Thank you kindly for the confidence.

Your story, as well as Jim Carrey's, isn't mine.

Some people love to analyse me, they love to imagine this is "my problem" or the reason I don't listen to them. They do not belong in my life, and my greatest misery is, I don't know how to shove them out. Precisely as when I was in 8th grade, except when homeschooled, and in 9th and 10th grade, I was clinically depressed (but never treated) because of people I couldn't get out of my life, first time over class mates, the other two years house mates. I gave Prince Harry the advice to forgive or possibly consider forgiving Prince William, because it was at a boarding school, and there the rule is, eat or be eaten, or in literal language, bully and ostracise or get bullied and ostracised. William was probably not going to get bullied if he stood up for his brother, but given the atmosphere, I'm very little convinced he would have known at the time. Like people not actually risking a gas chamber death, but threatened so they thought the gas chamber was looming around the corner if they didn't work harder, except on a boarding school it isn't death, and it isn't work, its getting shamed and "showing strength" by bullying. Not between all, but between sufficient many.

I had read two boarding school novels before I went to SSHL. Afterwards, I have never been a fan of boarding school novels. Mgr. Richard Williamson wrote a piece warning his readers (including me) to avoid Harry Potter. With me, it was not a temptation, it was set on a boarding school. I'm not sure I'll ever watch a complete episode of the Wednesday series, even if Jenna is pretty.

3:03 I actually don't recall achieving even one main goal apart from the bare minimum for saving my soul, like confessing mortal sins and being received in the Catholic Church (currently since 10 years Conclavist, which means I can in good conscience be non-practising).

ALL goals I have had have been either preliminary or taken away from me by evil networks.

Arguably, yes, they felt a concern I would achieve a goal, then tire of it. Actually totally win a girl and then chase the next one, with no rejection from the previous as excuse. At 56 I'm unmarried. And if I want a girl below 30, it is not in order to keep feeling like I felt when I was in a couple at 20, because I wasn't in a couple. Jews and Catholics have both been destroying my prospects, one after another. Jews, because they disagree with my Catholic choices. Catholics because they flare a Jewish choise (as far as I know at least nominally Catholic) or because they seem to think God's chosen celibacy for me, when evil men have.

Dito with success getting money and readers. I was denied an apartment because, while the money I had would suffice for a year's rent (at that point), I had no regular income. But on top of that, there are people who seem to be able to leave known Trad Catholic and Rightwing Writers alone, but dream of scaring me away from what I have been doing for 20 years.

Even if there were some possibility I should listen to you, I am not sure I could given the hatred I have of these people. But given the creeps they are, chances are, I even shouldn't.

4:11 I'm 56, and I think some of the creeps I have talked about are people who would love to right now take care of me like YOU take care of 80 year olds.

Don't moralise the old ones who spend money on lottery, it's probably a fun habit, and if they win, they'll probably make some family happy.

Meanwhile, I don't think 13 000 blog posts are comparable to 13 000 lottery tickets. A ticket that was drawn yesterday and you didn't win is useless (unless you want to save it as a memory, but few do). A blog post which has not been giving me a publisher for 17 years soon (counting just from the beginning of my blogger account) may still be read and may still give me a publisher tomorrow, as soon as that creepy following leaves me, if ever it does. But medicine has dictatorial powers, as we saw in the Covid era in France.

4:40 You know what? Some guys age better if they have family.

I'm likely to die 20 years from now. If I marry now and get a son now, he'll be 19 by then. If I don't, I'm stuck with other people caught up as patients, and the creeps I talk of are actively pushing such to seek my acquaintance to get me out of the company of girls I could marry or young people in general who'd like to found a publishing house around an author who doesn't have that right now.

5:27 Did you stop the 92 year old lady from getting the skin care?

That's basically what I fear for the rest of my life if certain people can continue unpunished and unharmed.

5:54 There is a HUGE difference between not caring about someone's mere words, and if that someone also has powers to bully you by administrational means depriving you of freedoms.

But thank you for mentioning the kind of freedoms I was gaining through my blogs and which some evil networks are trying to get me away from because they hate what I have to say.

6:34 My blogs are not instagram.

Whenever I get autobiographical, it's in response to someone praying for me to see the wrong message.

Like, trying to tell me through you I shouldn't seek fame.

Sure, if I were a monk, WHICH I AM NOT, I'd be better off the less known. I do not intend to become one. I admire them, UNLESS they pray for me to become one.

With the trade I have, I need a reputation to live off my work. My body is not fit to take up work as apprentice in a bakery. Too many calories. Doesn't mean I detest my body, doesn't mean I detest bakeries, but very much DOES mean I detest people who try to "make me evolve" in ways involving me changing my trade.

Some have very pernicious motives, like they want to persecute the religion I have, and so don't want my apologetics for it to be heard. Goes for Jews who hate their own Messiah, goes for "Catholics" who hate historic Catholicism.

6:47 Do you think some of the Nazi guards and Kapos in Auschwitz were trying to push Jews, especially young Jews there, to get to that level?

Because, you see, when I analyse biographies of camp survivors, in part (Wajsblat, a few youtubes) or in extenso (Maurice Cling, Dita Krauss), I get a very strong impression they were put in what was for them meant to be a boot camp, "getting over" some degree of "Jewish narcissism" ...

And, by the way, your moral theology is deficient, it's Stoic, and the real Catholic moral theology is Thomistic. Not the same thing by far. Externals do matter. Ideally one should be able to stay faithful even under the least advantageous externals, but one certainly shouldn't seek them for their own sake. If I don't accept them for Christ's sake, if others impose them for "educational purposes" (like Maurice and Dita had to go through), they actually may push me to my damnation.

Catholics shouldn't pray for me to just stay faithful and no more, they should pray and act to get me out of trouble. Pius XII and the bishop of Assisi (at least the latter) broke rules about the sacred in order to keep Jews out of that. But some of these guys see a Nazi (very inexact, I'm a Fascist but by no means in favour of the camps), whom the Jews had a right to reeducate. Like some saw in Jews a bourgeois Commie, whom the Nazis had a right to reeducate.

7:01 I have a student loan of 400 000 Swedish Kronor. Not only am I hampered by this, but people from Sweden are illegally using this to discredit me.

In that way, they are in fact destroying my capacity to pay back.

Other ways too, Swedes have interfered to bring some "understanding" about me, which hasn't been correct, unsurprisingly (Catholicism is NOT understood in Sweden, where both Commies and Muslims and Evangelicals too are more numerous than the Catholic Church), and also hasn't been in my favour.

7:33 Thank you, I believe the Universe is run by a benevolent God.

Right now that belief is kept alive by watching places where I presume some of my harrassers are, getting punishment.

I think Sweden might have avoided the shots in Örebro, if in 2002 or 2003 some sufficient number of Swedes had decided to investigate my arguments from other angles than as excuses to denigrate me as a "Nazi" and decide on how I should get reeducated. In Spain, I wondered if it was the priests visiting that Hindu temple. Well, there was one visit 7 years earlier. But the one last year came after the disaster. Which however stopped some Seminarians from attending. So, in the case of Spain, it could very well have been God doing for me, what He did for Israel in Egypt during the ten plagues. US? Possibly, but LA has mistreated THEIR homeless, and I think that cries out even more to God than what they've done to one in Paris.

8:40 If you have any kind of income from your videos, which I don't have directly from my posts (I don't monetise in exchange for admitting advertisers), you had a reason to see forward to viewers.

However, it so happens, as a geriatrician, you have a definite other income.

I don't want MY other income to come by a diagnosis of something getting me to a caring home at 56, frankly 20 years from now, or even beyond if I live that long, like my granny, I would prefer to be with family over being in that kind of facility.

Those who have wanted to get that kind of income on behalf of caring for me are exactly the kind of people that I have to worry about if I don't get an income.

9:17 I think a certain Paolo Cuelho agreed with you.

Much as I relished the foot journey TO Santiago, the prayer at St. James' tomb still WAS my destination.

The next goal is getting what I prayed for, that is something the Paolo Cuelho's have been doing their best to deny me. And I arrived in 2004.

As to Mr. Cuelho, I don't trust his theology a bit since he claimed in a book that Elijah played along with Phoenicians and pretended to be a Baal worshipper.

9:41 I think the Nazis knew the hero's journey by heart and arranged a boot camp in Auschwitz with that in mind.

The result involves some geriatric patients mistaking a moderately pro-Jewish and anti-camp Fascist for a Nazi or a self hating Jew who has been tricked into joining the Nazis.

They have (in part) become the Nazis of today.

10:23 No, when I am kept awake by people who think I sleep too much late at night, and then woken up early in the morning, and then see the waste bin close by filled with beer cans so they can stamp me as drunkard and continue, I can't have everything I want right now. I can't feel gratitude more than for short moments of relief, unless I have sufficient sleep.

Poverty in a hermitage might allow me sufficient sleep or sufficient hours of prayer to make up for the lack of sleep.

But poverty in the street won't do that, and the hermitage would deprive me of an occasion to get published, it would be very easy for someone to sneak in, disturb me while I was praying, watch me not responding, and then go and tell all the world I'm not really interested, and similar for getting a wife.

So, in fact, I can't have everything I want right now, because in order to avoid the people who deprive me of one essential, I would risk losing another one.

10:46 No, ma'am, I'm not an aspect of God, neither are you.

We are created in God's image. We have individualities which may well reflect some aspect of God, but the reason this doesn't make us an aspect of God is twofold:

  • it may very well be an inverse image, a need corresponding to what God wants to give
  • and even insofar as it is a positive image, which it usually also is, even individually, even apart from all of us being in the image of the whole Trinity, it is one which we mar by sin. Including the sin of heresy, of course.


11:09 Married couples are meant to grow together.

LOTS of marriages have been destroyed or prevented by people wanting to impose individual growth, or growth in a collective, before allowing young persons (or in this case even a somewhat more old person) to grow together with someone.

I came to hate the modern system of education after hearing that a couple of ninth graders who were nice to me, I hoped they would marry, had both been pushed to pursue their individual growth, both were into music, but different styles, so they broke up.

I do not live to promote Maggie McCormack, but to promote things like this:

Our Lady of Las Lajas: An Image that Cannot Be Explained
Heroic Lives | 28 Jan. 2025
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NH1duy5RWeQ

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